Your Empty Nest Lifestyle Plan

When children grow up and go out on their own, parents can find themselves shocked to find that they never made a plan for life after children. “Empty nesters” are suddenly confronted with a bewildering array of possibilities in addition to feelings of loss or other emotional distress. It is important to see how full of possibility this stage of life is.

Ideally, you’ve seen this stage of life coming for a while and are not completely blind-sided.  If you do feel overwhelmed and anxious, be conscious of impulsive spending tendencies that you may feel. It’s not uncommon to try and fill up the empty space with a home renovation project or an excessive spending spree. Calm yourself and take steps to get a reading on your sense of well-being. Launch a fact-finding mission designed to take stock of where you are and where you go from here.  (Also refer to Chapter 44 of my book “How should I downsize an empty nest” and the accompanying video “Seven Tips for Downsizing  Your Life”.)

Enough of Stuff

Many couples are struck by the realization that the house that was perfect for raising children has way more space than they need. For example, not many couples need a 3,000 – 5,000 sq. ft. home. It can feel cavernous, empty.

Current studies show that many of these couples are becoming part of a societal change that sociologists have been anticipating for years: the decline of the Mac Mansion and the rediscovery of the cozy home. This new way features smaller, more efficient dwellings that cost a fraction to maintain and located in more active, outdoor oriented communities. Here, mature couples can get their second wind, sometimes striking out in new directions like second careers or going back to school.

Deal with Long-term Care Before You’re Forced To

Another major decision that seems a long way off is the subject of long-term care. At this point in your life, if you haven’t already, consider planning for you distant future. You can read our article on estate planning and later life planning here.  Although it’s probably not the most fun activity you can do, make the time now to avoid surprise later. It’s much easier to alter plans that are finished than it is to create them from scratch.

Ask, “What have I done for me lately?”

We touched on this earlier but it bears repeating. Have you ever thought about anything that you always wanted to do but, for whatever reason, always got put on the back burner. This is a very personal inner exploration and can lead to a wondrous sense of satisfaction if you make the commitment and go for it. How many stories have we all read of people finally doing the things that they always wanted to? And remember, it isn’t necessary to spend large sums of money to experience the joy of finding your pet activity or interest.

Don’t fall into the “I’ll do it later” Trap

Lastly, if you don’t have a sense of urgency by now, you need to develop one. Don’t waste the time that you have. “Maybe we’ll do it next year” becomes never. “I’ll think about it” never comes. If you have never planned out what you’re going to do, even if it’s to plan to plan less and be more spontaneous, you should at least think about it as an option. This is your time more than any other and you will get exactly the kind of mature years that you convince yourself that you deserve.